This one was rough. Created during a time that was already difficult enough.

When our oldest was around four years old, we were at a hardware store. He asked for a coin to toss into a fountain to make a wish. Afterwards, I couldn’t help but ask. What did you wish for? His answer surprised us both. A baby sister.

We had previously discussed the possibility of adding to our family. With this lovely little wish, we decided it was time. We decided to try.

And we tried. For four years, to no avail. Our first only took about half a year before we found out I was pregnant. We decided it was time for help, and consulted a fertility specialist. She went through everything and asked me if I had endometriosis. I said no, but I’d known friends who did, and felt terrible hearing about what they had to go through. Then she asked me how my periods were.

Apparently feeling like your lower half is on fire and being violently torn off every month is not normal. Who knew? Every doctor I had seen for years, who I relayed this info to, didn’t seem concerned. So I lived like this for about a decade.

She suggested an exploratory laparoscopy, as she was highly suspicious I had endo.

There I was on the operating table. I was nervous. Scared even. But I knew it was a step I had to take if we were going to have a chance at adding to our family.

One of the nurses asked, “Do you feel that hole there in the bed underneath you?”

“Yes, I put my butt in it.”

They chuckled. Apparently, no. It was not for that. But it was almost a perfect fit, so perhaps they just didn’t know. They asked me to scoot up some, please. So out and up I went. Away from the comfort of that cradling crevice.

My doctor came and sat beside me. She held my hand, and helped me count backward from ten. I probably made it to eight before it was lights out.

Next thing I knew, I was waking up. Groggy and feeling like my throat and the tube that had been providing me essential oxygen didn’t get along. But I was in recovery with my husband and our son beside me. A beautiful sight. Especially as nervous as I was prior to surgery.

She had made three incisions. Her suspicions were confirmed: I had endometriosis. Cue the oohs and ahs, as everyone was surprised… Stage 3, almost 4. She told me she was surprised my ovaries were even functional. It had wrapped itself around my bladder, which explained pain I had been experiencing. It had grown and clung onto whatever else it could in there. She was able to safely remove up to 80% of it.

Before surgery, getting my period meant that, if possible, plans were canceled and I stayed home. If not, I just went about whatever I had to do while in pain. I had been doing that for years. Thinking it was normal.

My first period after surgery felt like I was being lightly pinched. I remember thinking, Holy crap… is this what other women feel?

I now had to heal before we could try IUI.

Healing was rough, but I got through it. Then came all the things required to prepare for the first round. That first round failed. So we tried again.

Then came the second round. When injection time came around, our doctor told us I had four viable follicles. The possibility of becoming pregnant with four babies at once got my heart racing and may have been slightly overwhelming. With only minutes until the scheduled injection time, my husband and I discussed it. Ultimately, we decided that whatever the outcome, we would figure it out together.

So I injected myself, we prayed for the best, and put it in God’s hands.

When the time came to find out if I was pregnant, it was positive. At our appointment, she confirmed it. One took. And I almost didn’t inject myself.

We were finally adding to our little family. After so much heartache each time it was negative, when we had been so hopeful it was positive. After so much waiting. We were incredibly grateful to God, our doctor, and her team.

As happy as we were then, we had no idea what would be awaiting us just a few weeks before my eventual due date. But that’s a story for another time.

A Slice for a Life is exactly that. I didn’t want to be cut. I didn’t want to be injected. I didn’t want to take all sorts of medications. I don’t think anyone does. But I wanted another baby to love. We all did.

Here, you see Blobby with three bandages along its belly. I painted them to look like my own bandages from my laparoscopy.

Then the single glowing flower. The glimmer of hope through the darkness and uncertainty.

I contemplated not sharing the full story behind this piece. But realized that if it helps another mama or family going through it, I want to share it.

This piece in particular is one I thought might be too personal to reach somebody else. Yet a collector once told her husband that she wanted it. I sent him the link so they could read what I had written about the artwork at the time. They learned what it was about, but not like this. This is the first time I’m sharing it.

What stuck with me is this: she told me at the time that even though she hadn’t known the meaning, she had felt it.

That meant more to me than she will ever know.

Kena Ramírez Dillon
A Slice for a Life, 2020
Digital painting

EDITIONS:

LIMITED COLLECTOR’S EDITION:

• HAND-EMBELLISHED GALLERY-WRAPPED CANVAS, FRAMED

  Professionally printed on canvas and mounted on gallery-depth stretcher bars. Each piece is personally hand-embellished by Kena, adding texture and painted details unique to that particular piece. These subtle variations mean no two are exactly alike.

  Once a piece has been hand-embellished, Kena proceeds to the next steps of preparing it for its new home. The piece is personally hand signed, varnished, framed in a high-quality wood floater frame, and packaged by her in the Kena the Artist studio. From there, it begins its journey to you, arriving finished and ready to hang.

  • Hand signed

  • Certificate of authenticity

  • Numbered out of 31 in each size

  • Wrapped with care, as art is a gift

OPEN EDITION:

• FINE ART GICLÉE PRINT, UNFRAMED

  Professionally printed on fine art paper, showcasing the color and detail of the original artwork. The paper has a smooth, matte surface.

  Each print is personally packaged and hand signed by Kena before being carefully sent on its journey to you. Prints arrive unframed, allowing you to choose a presentation that best complements the artwork and your space.

  • Hand signed

  • Certificate of authenticity

  • Wrapped with care, as art is a gift

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• 12 × 12 in

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• 8 × 8 in

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Open edition prints include a white, one-inch border to accommodate framing with or without a mat.

MOCK-UP:
Want to see how this piece will look in your space? Contact me, and I’ll be happy to create a mock-up to help you visualize it in your home.

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